What is the verb for FaceTime? I FaceTimed? Sounds good. Calvin was right:
I chatted on FaceTime with my parents the other day. Dad has been aging as I would expect. He’s still a handsome man, but obviously in his 50’s. I was struck by how, and this is going to sound awful, *old* my mother looked. I’ve been fighting with these feelings for the last few days.
I haven’t been very close with my mom over the last few years. It’s sad. I know plenty of people who have very close relationships with many people at the same time. Some days I feel like I just can’t handle that much interaction. Facebook must have been made for people like me; able to see everything, but not be overly involved in everything at the exact same time.
I feel like my relationship with my parents has been tentative since I went away to college. To this day I don’t feel that I was fully, mentally prepared for it. It was exciting, don’t get me wrong. I just feel that I had to grow up too fast in a very short amount of time. (Is this what a quarter life crisis feels like?) Hell, the summer before college was probably the nail in that coffin.
Moving on. I want a closer relationship with them. I don’t want to wait until after grad school. God forbid something happen to them before I’m finished. I have a real problem with being proactive lately. I need to work on making my scheduling skills better. If I can plan for it, maybe it won’t feel so scary. Not that I think my parents are scary. Getting down to it, I worry that they don’t approve of what I’m doing here.