I am an Idiot

image

I’ve only been out of school for 3 years, you wouldn’t think that I would forget, completely, how this institution operates. Oh, except I’ve never attended grad school.
I reviewed my class list this morning to find that not only do classes start NEXT WEEK, before the end of August, but I also have a 10 hr intensive class day on Saturday and an 8 hr intensive class day on Sunday. I just bought my books this morning and had to buy them all online which means that I probably won’t have them in time for class. Why didn’t think to check this, oh I don’t know, four weeks ago when I could have prepared in advance?!

As of this moment, I feel like I’ve made a hugh mistake.

Lady Parts Doctor Day!

Lady Parts Doctor Day

Today I had my yearly OBGYN exam and now that I’m in a new city, that required finding a new doctor. The only thing I want to say about the visit itself is that I miss my previous Thai CNP with the small, dainty hands.

If you know me, there are few topics about which I am shy; sex not being one of them.  I happily answered all of her questions and willing threw out some tidbits of my own: came here for grad school, excited for the program to start, live with my grandparents, away from my husband but miss him oh so much, etc.
One question I hate getting is the concerned look with the raised eyebrow, “Are you on birth control?”
Then aghast disbelief, “NO?”
Then the inevitable condescension with a hint of exasperation, “Well! Do you think you can raise a baby while going to school AND working?”

You know what, maybe. But maybe not. I’m a good multitasker. Maybe it will be the easiest thing I ever do. Maybe it will be the dumbest. I don’t know and I can’t predict it. If the universe sees fit to give me a child, I’m certainly not going to say no at this point. I want to further my education. And there are ways to do that as an adult with a family. We’re in the 21st Century, and I can do what I want without fear of repercussions due to my gender and status.

I met a professor tonight who got her Ph.D at age 52 while 3 of her 4 kids were also in college. It’s possible, people.

It’s Quiet

image

And when it’s quiet, I pick up technology and stalk. Today’s bored stalking brought me to a picture of a college friend whose first child is now one month old. Cute as a button, that kid.
But it makes me unusually angry when I see that someone has what I have wanted my whole life and I know that I can’t/shouldn’t have it.  I’ve wanted kids as long as I remember.  I think I may be the only one of my friends who WANTED to have kids early instead of a career or nice retirement or a ranch full of cats.
And now the whole thing just makes me sad. I made the choice to move away from my husband to attend grad school. I couldn’t have a baby if I wanted to. Hell, I can’t even have an accidental baby at this point! How long is it going to be before I can fill that void that keeps rearing its cute, blue-eyed, fuzzy blonde head? Will someone talk some sense into me?

Wherein I Hate the DMV

…even more than usual.

I have been trying to get my DE driver’s license and DE plates for weeks now, ever since Dad and I drove over.  Keep in mind we arrived on 08/02. Late last week I finally broke the evil code and am considered a resident of Delaware and have a shiny new license.
Now I am trying to jump thru their hoops to make sure that my car is properly inspected (because DE has emissions laws that need to be respected) and tagged. I want tags. I am willing to pay $300 for tags. GIVE ME THE GOSHDARN TAGS ALREADY.
When I went to the DMV again today, it is common practice for me to forget SOMETHING. (I brought my marriage certificate JUST IN CASE they needed proof of name change.) But how can I forget the most important piece of documentation, i.e. the title to my car? Fucking ridiculous. I feel like such an idiot.
So there I am, crying in the DMV parking lot. You know the feeling: utter hopelessness that you just screwed up royally, at a loss as to what to do because you are all alone, first timer in a new city and just trying to do the eight thing and still getting screwed, etc.
The first thing I did was call Ben to see if he could find the title and send.it to me. He didn’t answer. So I cried more.  Then I called my insurance company, who I also got the loan from and who sent me the title when it was paid. I wish I could do one of their commercials.  They are just so helpful. They can’t sent me a title, but they are sending me a copy of the release of lien which basically says I own it and am no longer making payments. With this little scrap pf paper, I SHOULD be able to get my new title and subsequent plates.  I hope this will be the last time you have to read about my DMV complaints until I eventually move to another new state, or have a kid in high school driver’s Ed, or they finally give us those flying cars they promised in the 50’s and they pass another set of emission rules.

Second Time Around

I finally got my university email working today only to find that they have already posted my tuition bill to the tune of $wellthatisslightlybetterthanihopedfor.00 USD.  And it was overdue.
OOPS.
At work I filed my FAFSA (which everyone here calls a FASFA and it drives me CRAZY!) and drove to the bursar’s office to get this situation remedied. It was a much easier process than I could have imagined. I never took out any loans in undergrad, so this has been pretty new.
Now I just need to figure out exactly when my classes start, get my books and make some friends. Shouldn’t be too hard. Then why am I still petrified?

On the Hunt!

image

Today, I thought I was being really proactive on the hunt for a new home for me and Ben. I had limited time before all of the open houses closed for the day. Open Houses are rare because they usually only happen once a week and its a great way to get in and out to see the house without being tied down to the agent who is showing said houses.
I wanted to go check out one in a nice little neighborhood south of the city. It is within our price range and looks a little dated, but passable and workable for sure. Oma decided to come with me (wholly shocking from the woman who doesn’t want to go anywhere, ever) which I appreciated. Despite her failing memory, she knows her way around the joint by now and could help me if my GPS technology failed. By the time we got there, the open house was almost over. We were going to run in, out and drive back home as to not miss Oma’s Kaffeezeit. I leaped up the steps, gave a polite knock on the door and threw the door open. Twelve pairs of eyes stared back at me. My tail tucked. I wanted to run away so badly. I meekly asked if this was the open house. They all chuckled in unison and told me that the open house was for NEXT weekend and that we were welcome to come in for some cake anyways. My head was spinning in confusion. In hindsight, I should have at least gotten my gas’ worth in cake. I respectfully declined on behalf of the both of us, thanked them for their information, and hauled ass out of there. As if the embarrassment could get worse if I had stayed longer.
Oma and I had a good laugh about it. We discussed the obvious need for a realtor. I’ll keep looking on my own, but if someone can help me with some houses I might not ordinarily see, I think that will be very helpful in the long run.

Signed,
Currently Searching for an Agent

What is there to do in DE?

image

You may be asking yourself that exact same question. Well, if the activities my family has taken me to is any indication, DE consists of Freak Shows

and flea markets. I love freaks, and I love the occasional antique. Truthfully,  I’m an IKEA girl through and through. 

What this makes me realize is that I need to forge my own identity. In the past when we came out for vacation, we would swim and shop. That’s it. It was like going to a resort in some 3rd world country where if you left the property,  your life expectancy dropped to nil. But I’m slowly starting to realize that when summer is over, there will be no more swimming, I wont have money to go shopping, the gravy train will end. I LOVE GRAVY. In short, I need to find things that I can do to fill up my time with things that I want to do. They will not include talking to my grandparents about the war, politics or sitting on my butt watching TV every night.

List of Things that Christin Wants To Do:
1) Learn to fence. I’ve always thought it was an amazing sport. There are a few clubs in the area. If the price is right and the timing is convenient, I could easily take a few nights a week to perry and thrust.
2) Get my WiFi internet up and running so I can Skype with Hubs. This will have to happen once Verizon ends their strike as we need a much higher internet speed than 1meg to make this a reality.
3) Crafts. I didn’t have room in my car for my sewing machine and fabric bins so I can’t quilt a damn thing without buying a whole new stash. Oma has a sewing machine,  but she was a garment seamstress and did pillow finishing by hand. She has no interest in quilting and enough fabric to only make some throw pillows. This leaves me with needlepoint and crocheting. I’ve crocheted in the past and think that this will be a good way to keep me busy while accomplishing something meaningful. Right now, I’m making an afghan to give to Ben. Shh!
4) Start going to church again. My parents were married in a Lutheran church down the street which we also frequented in the summers. I think I’ll check it out to see if religion is still something I want in my life. I think about it quite often, so that has to mean something.

Wish me luck!

I’m Here! or My Life as a Mooch

The place that will be my new home. Currently I’m living with my grandparents about 15 mins south of campus. They are very gracious and letting me live here rent free which is AMAZING because each month my paychecks go back to WI to pay for utilities and cable and groceries, etc. Oma and Opa are great about making sure that I have enough food, everything I need for school, down time, projects, etc. I don’t have to pay them for anything, but most days I want to. However, I have very little opportunity to have a savings since most everything goes to keep the homestead up in WI. I just know this is going to come back to bite me in the ass.
The drive out here was great. I had to pack all of my clothes and my work computer into my tiny car and leave enough room for my dad to be my copilot. We talked the whole time. It reminded me of the days that he would drive me to college before i had my car; good conversation, until he overshares about their marriage. This trip wasn’t as awkward, Gott sei dank. It was tough because he’s a little bit taller than me, and much less flexible. I felt bad for putting him in a cramped Kia for 22 hours. But, it was his choice to come with me. I’m super glad he did. He paid for my fuel. 🙂  I’m not saying I would have gotten lost, I’m an excellent navigator, but I’m not a terrific driver and prone to second guessing myself.
We got to stay with his mother in Ohio at the halfway point to spend the night. The next morning we made the long trek along the WHOLE state of PA which, did I mention, is ridiculously long? But beautiful, no doubt.  I could see myself living in a place like that except the towns are small-ish. With my proposed career path, it’s going to be big city or no dice. I think Ben still wants to move to the West Coast, which is great, but won’t happen for a while. I think once he actually gets out here, he’ll see what a fun, entertaining place it can be. He sounds so miserable all alone with just the pets.

I am so excited for him to be with me again.

I guess the important thing to know is that I’m here, safe and sound. It’s been almost 3 weeks, and I don’t want to tear my hair out yet.